I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize