On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
then he tried to convert me to islam
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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