marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
