just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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