She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
