also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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