Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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