I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have aggressive nipples.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
