he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
