Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
