If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
