I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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