Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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