Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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