Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
