Yo dont text me then not text me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
