Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
  Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  in pain and im wearing pink underwear

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i dont own pink underwear

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  (609): in pain and im wearing pink underwear (908): so? (609): i dont own pink underwear http://tfl.nu/78xa
  Replies (1) Good night (1184) Bad night (694)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3427) Bad night (1509) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (608) Bad night (6665) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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  (440): she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2. http://tfl.nu/9o14
  Replies (140) Good night (741) Bad night (5786) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!

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  (413): DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!! http://tfl.nu/zcda
  Replies (15) Good night (5051) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

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  (914): End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide. http://tfl.nu/bl6v
  Replies (74) Good night (6425) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.

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  (617): I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while. http://tfl.nu/clpn
  Replies (15) Good night (4312) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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  (701): Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon http://tfl.nu/mzrc
  Replies (4) Good night (2050) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption

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  (586): If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption http://tfl.nu/zznp
  Replies (13) Good night (1264) Bad night (1881) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness

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  (917): he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness http://tfl.nu/2dob
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.

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  (208): so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/25ho
  Replies (17) Good night (4647) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah

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  (479): I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah http://tfl.nu/ef97
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

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  (907): I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex. http://tfl.nu/29kt
  Replies (11) Good night (512) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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  (315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1322) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt

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