doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Couch. On fire.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
