it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize