hell yes lets make some ravioli
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
pray to the hookup gods
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
