I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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