So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
