I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
