so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
