The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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