Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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