It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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