so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
