Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize