My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
