that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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