On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
