I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize