So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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