You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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