So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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