she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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