Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
