Grow some girl-balls and come out already
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
