I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
