why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
