Don't you send me to vm
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
