no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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