So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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