Your tits are I can't wait for
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
