I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
