nut hugger
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
