I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
