I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
