My hand turned me down
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
