Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
