Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
