i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
