I accidentally burped into my bong.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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