yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
