Where did you get a picture of my penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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