Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I need to calm my uterus...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
