soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
