Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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